The Major Effects and Cures of Sugar
by Akhino
Summary: Hello minna-san! Me and seven of my friends decide to do a little experiment of the Gundam boys... starting with Duo! MWAHAHAHA!! ACHOO! ¬.¬ R+R!!!
1.

THE FIVE MAJOR EFFECTS AND CURES OF SUGAR  
PART ONE  
DISCLAIMER: I'M NOT SAYING IT....  
  
  
  
THE FIRST MAJOR EFFECT AND CURE  
  
Duo is wandering around aimlessly and stops when he stumbles upon Sarah(me), Laura, Amber, Cynthia, Holly, Cindy, Erin, and Natalie sitting around a large table and having a conversation.  
"Y'know, I haven't seen Richard in a while,"Amber said.  
"I thought you dumped him,"Natalie said.  
"I did. I like Jeremy...."Amber put her hands on her heart and her face turned into a dreamy look.  
"Oh.... kay.... I really hope to see Levi again,"Laura said. "What about Quatre, Sarah?"  
Sarah smiled evilly. "That's what I called you all here for."  
"A fanfic?"Erin asked. She smiled evilly also.  
Duo gasped.  
"Oh no,"He told himself. "Another fanfic.... OOC probably...."  
Duo moved closer, hoping to hear what the fanfic was going to be about.  
"What does five Gundam boys, a scientist, ten thousand tons of sugar, and one crazy author equal?"Sarah asked.  
The eight girls grinned evilly.  
"THE MAJOR EFFECTS AND CURES OF SUGAR!"the all said in unison.  
"Count me out, though,"Amber siad. "There is no way I'm going to be in the middle of this! Especially Duo!"  
"Me too,"Laura, Cindy, Erin, and Natalie said.  
"Then I guess it's me, Cynthia, and Holly,"Sarah said. "Okay. I'll see you all soon!"  
"If you survive,"Cindy said.  
"Bye!"Amber said. The five disappeared.  
"Okay, now all we need is the Gundam boys,"Cynthia said.  
Duo felt himself being dragged into the room. He tried to grab onto the doornob, but it broke right when he touched it. His face looked like this: -_-'  
"Oh no...."  
His feet landed on the ground and the other four appeared. They all looked terrified. Heero had a towel around his waist and he was brushing his teeth. He looked like this: O_O'  
"Uh, can I at least get my clothes on?!"Heero shrieked.  
"Sure,"Cynthia said.  
She snapped her fingers, and in one second, his normal green tanktop and Spandex were on him. Heero sighed.  
"What do you want, you onna fanfic author?"Wufei asked. "Hurry up! I was in the middle of polishing Nataku!"  
"It's a new fanfic,"Holly said, grinning evilly. "Five whole chapters.... maybe six if Sarah wants to do a conclusion."  
"What's it about?"Quatre asked.  
"The Five Mafor Effects and Cures of Sugar,"Sarah said.  
"And.... who's the first?"Trowa asked meekly.  
"Duo Maxwell,"Cynthia said, pointing to the American boy.  
Duo gulped and shrunk into the shadows. Then, two thousand tons of sugar fell on the floor. Duo's eyes turned into hearts.  
"KAWAII!"Holly shrieked, glomping Duo.  
Duo tore himself from Cynthia and started on the sugar. A guy with a white beard and white hair appeared. He started taking notes.  
In 0.1111111111 seconds, the sugar was gone. Duo burped a bit. Then, the sugar started kicking in.  
"E HE HE HE!"He shrieked. "SUUUUGAAAAAR IS THE BESTEST TREAT! IT'S THE BEST A PERSON COULD EAT! WHITE DOTS AND SUGAR CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBES! WITH THAT SUGAR, LET'S MAKE A TUBE!"  
Sarah stared into the audience like this: O_O'. "Major effect number one. Patient: Duo Maxwell. Age: sixteen. Gender: male. Ethnicity: American. Where his saneness is mostly stored: braid. Getting all this down, Professor B?"  
"Yup,"Professor B answered.  
"Okay, let's change the settings a bit,"Holly said.  
Soon, they found themselves inside Quatre's mansion. Quatre looked from Duo to Sarah and back to Duo.  
"No. Not here! Please!"Quatre begged.  
"Professor B? Have you thought of a cure, yet?"Cynthia asked.  
"Yeah, let me go to the hospital and get it,"Professor B said as he ran out of the door.  
"I have a feeling he's not going to return,"Wufei said. "Baka fanfic author. Now what?!"  
"How about we.... find Duo,"Sarah suggested.  
Everyone then noticed hat DUo was missing.  
"MAXWELL! I'M NEVER GOING TO FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS!"Wufei screamed.  
"He can't help it,"Holly said. "He's hooked on sugar."  
"Yeah, but who's the one who ate the sugar?"Heero asked. "Duo did!"  
".... This reminds me of chapter five in Ice Castles,"I stated.  
"Don't remind me of Ice Castles,"Quatre moaned.  
Trowa then felt something hit his head. "OW! What the-?!"  
Quatre picked up the object that hit Trowa and turned green. "He's in the medicine cabinet."  
"DON'T DRINK THE PINK BISMUTH LIQUID!"Holly screamed.  
"How did you know about that when you weren't even there with us?"I asked.  
"My brother took it when he had a stomachache. My mom had to drive fifty miles to get Purple Bismuth liquid for him, and I was stuck with the boy!"  
"In Ice Castles, Duo drunk almost all of it-"  
"CAN YOU ONNAS BE QUIET?! WE HAVE TO GET MAXWELL BEFORE HE DRINKS THAT STUFF!!"Wufei screamed.  
Cynthia ran upstairs but came tumbling down when Duo ran past her. He drank the Pink Bismuth Liquid....  
Trowa jumped out of the way before Duo could run him over. Everyone then retreated to a room. Most of us were piled in the closet, and Sarah and Cynthia were under the bed. All was silent.  
"D- do you think he settled down?"Trowa asked, inching out of the closet.  
"He can't be, not with two thousand tons of sugar and who knows how many bottles of Pink Bismuth Liquid!"Cynthia said.  
"We should send someone out to check,"Sarah said.  
"NO!"Everyone yelled.  
"Chickens. OKay, I will,"Sarah crawled out from under the bed.  
"Sarah, don't!"Quatre whispered.  
Sarah opened the door and closed it when she was out. There was no turning back for her. Sarah first checked the ten bathrooms. No Duo. Then, she tried the two kitchens. Still no Duo. Then she tried the refrigerator in one of the kitchens.  
There Duo was(??), munching on yogurt. Don't ask how he was able to fit in the fridge, but he fit. ^.^;  
Duo ran out of the fridge and out the door, Sarah chasing him. Duo turned a sharp corner and made it. But when Sarah tried to turn that corner and still keep up with him, she ran straight into the wall.  
Sarah ran ahead after recovering from hitting her head. She then saw Quatre holding a large net. Under the net was Duo himself.  
"You caught him!"Sarah gasped.  
RIP! Duo ran right out of the net, turned into the room where the others were, and looked at the door with a "MWAHAHA!".  
"Two words,"Sarah said. "Oh. Crap."  
They ran up to the door and started pounding on it. Sarah then stopped.  
"This won't help,"she said. "Watch this! Aiya!"  
Sarah jumped up and kicked the door where the lock was. It fell to the ground. They then peered inside. Duo was chasing everyone around the room. Cynthia was still under the bed. She looked like this: O_O and Duo looked like this: ,,^_^,,  
Then, Professor B appeared.  
"I found the cure for Duo!"he said.  
Professor B threw tons of food at Duo. He caught them all and started munching on them. In no time at all, he was back to his normal self. Or, what was normal about him.  
  
Professor B: Hello. This is Professor B. Cure number one: food, and lots of it!  
  
THE SECOND MAJOR EFFECT AND CURE  
  
Sarah, Amber, Laura, Cynthia, Holly, Cindy, Erin, and Natalie were sitting back at the table. Cynthia, Holly, and Sarah were telling the other five what had happened.  
"HAAA HAAA HAAA!"they all laughed.  
Heero heard the laughter and peeked around the corner and went pale when he saw the fanfic author and her friends.  
"At least the muse isn't there...."  
"And then, I kicked down the door and-"  
"Saw that Duo was chasing everyone around the room!"  
"That sounds like fun, actually,"Amber said.  
Holly looked at Amber in pure terror. "You aren't thinking what I think your thinking, I hope...."  
"Yup! I want to go next time!"  
"So do I,"said Laura, twirling her hair around.  
"Oh lord. Well, good luck,"Holly said. "Who is next, by the way?"  
".... Heero Yuy...."  
Heero froze on the spot. He then thought to himself: 'At least I won't appear in only a towel again.' So, knowing that he's going where he thinks he's going anyways, Heero walked to the table of girls.  
"Let's get this over with,"Heero said tonelessly.  
"You are even more smart than Duo is,"Amber said, smiling.  
"I'll take that as a compliment."  
"You know you love it!"Laura glomped Heero. ,,^_^,,  
"I think I'll go,"Holly said.  
"Bye!"Cynthia disappeared.  
Holly, Cindy, Erin, and Natalie also disappeared.  
"Chickens,"Laura murmured.  
Then, the other four Gundam boys appeared.  
"Oh no.... not another one!"Duo moaned.  
No! Weakling onna!"Need I say who said that?  
"...."I know I don't need to say who, erm, said that.  
"Oh great.... just not in the mansion, k?"You know who.  
A pile of sugar appeared right before our eyes. Quatre, Wufei, Trowa, Amber, AND Laura had to restrain Duo from getting to the pile.  
And that's when Heero's conscience came along.... 'bout time, too.  
'Look, Heero, at what you got yourself into!'  
'Shut up!'  
'Listen. Look at that pile of sugar. Think they expect you to eat it?'  
'.... No....'  
'Ha! Then the author must have some sort of plan to make you eat it!'  
'That author? Sh's too stupid to do anything.'  
'.... You have a point.... but don't underestimate fanfic authors! Remember Duo? He may be a baka, but not baka enough to eat sugar.... well, I may be wrong.'  
'Stupid conscience! Why don't you leave me alone?'  
'I'm warning you.... and it's best if you heed.'  
'Erhem.... good-bye!'  
'Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you!'  
Heero's conscience disappeared. He smirked in satisfaction.  
'That girl isn't going to make me eat all of that sugar is I can help it!'  
Boy was he wrong....  
"Pliers!"  
"Pliers,"Amber handed Sarah a pair of pliers.  
"Crowbar!"  
"Crowbar,"Amber handed Sarah a crowbar.  
"Bicycle!"  
"Bicycle. Bicycle?!"  
"I said, bicycle."  
"Okay, okay! Bicycle."Amber handed Sarah a bicycle.  
"Wh-what are you planning to do with those?"Heero asked, not showing a sign of emotion.  
Laura opened Heero's mouth with the crowbar and Amber stuffed the bicycle in Heero's mouth so that it stayed open very wide. O.O;; All the other Gundam pilots could do is stare dumb-foundedly as Sarah poured sugar between the spokes of the bicycle and into Heero's mouth.  
O.o;;  
Trowa raised an eyebrow. The first thing he did all day besides stay silent. Wufei looked at Heero in pure terror, thinking that this might be his fate sometime in the fanfic. Quatre had his eyes clamped shut. And Duo was.... cheering the fanfic author on?! .... O.... kay....  
'Told ya, Heero....'  
'Shut up, baka conscience!'  
'You never listen, do ya?'  
'.... Got me there....'  
'Good luck. Least I'm not in the situation.'  
'If you're my conscience, then you are in the situation becuase you are a part of me!'  
'.... Good point.... But I don't have to feel the pain or go crazy.'  
"Hm.... The sugar doesn't seem to be affecting him.... Laura! Get the two-liter bottle of Pink Bismuth Liquid!"  
"NOOOOOOOO!"three pilots screamed.  
Duo was still cheering the author on. O.O' Don't ask.... He isn't under my control.... yet.... MWAHAHAHA!  
Professor B then appeared. "What is the point of using the Pink Bismuth Liquid? We all know the cure is Purple Bismuth Liquid and the point of this experiment is to know the five major effects and cures of SUGAR."  
".... Good point.... But who cares? No one has seen Heero go crazy in any of my fanfics.... yet...."  
"You fool! You think Pink Bismuth Liquid could make me go insane?"Heero had gotten the bike out of his mouth.  
"Heero,"Laura said. "Pink.... Relena...."  
Everyone gave Laura the 'Why in the name of Shinigami did you say that?' look. Laura sweatdropped. Now, folked, if you have a deahwish, you should (A)mention Relena infront of Heero, or (B)wake him up.  
And since Laura did (A), she must have a deathwish. But I know she didn't.  
"R-R-Relena?! DON'T MAKE ME TAKE THE LIQUID!"Heero screamed.  
Heero tried running away, but Duo grabbed the Perfect Soldier and Amber forced the two-liter bottle of Pink Bismuth Liquid down Heero's throat which she had no trouble doing because Heero was scraming his head off and the wide mouth could catch a fish anytime.  
"NOOOOOO! I DRANK SOMETHING PINK! NAAAAATAAAAAKUUUUUU! SAVE ME!"  
"Hey, that's my line!"Wufei said, glaring the Death Glare.  
"But that's my glare!"Heero said.  
The two pilots started staring at each other. Then all beep broke loose. Heero started chasing Wufei with a gun and Duo kept cheering people on, fanfic author or crazed maniac. Quatre fainted and Trowa had to catch him.  
Amber and Laura just plain stared. Gunshots could be heard.  
"NAAATAAAKUUU! SAVE ME FROM THIS CRAZED MANIAC!"  
And, sorry Little Rini, but, "NAAAAAAAAATAAAAAAACOOOOOOOOOOO!" Couldn't help myself, Little Rini! Shinigami made me do it! ..^_^..  
And then someone unexpected turned up. Someone who suprisingly saved us all. Relena Peacecraft. DUHN DUHN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUHN! ¬_______¬;;  
Relena turned up where we were and said," HEEEEEROOOO!!"  
BANG! Heero shot Relena and lost all insaneness.  
"Finally. I did it. I SHOT RELENA!"  
"GOOOO HEEEEEROOOOOO!"Duo shrieked, doing a cheer with pom-poms.  
  
Professor B: Even though this part had nothing to do with sugar, I would like to say to releave insaneness, shoot someone you wanted to shoot for a long time now.  
  
THE THIRD MAJOR EFFECT AND CURE  
  
All eight of the girls were back at the table. And Sarah, Amber, and Laura were telling everyone about what happened, of course. Everyone had a celebratioon when they heard about the death of Peacecraft.  
"YAAAAAAAAAAY!"they all cheered.  
And then, who knew?, Wufei came along. Seeing a pattern? Wufei heard all of the so-called "onnas" cheering and went to see what was up. Sarah saw him and said,"Hello, Wufei-sama."  
"KUSO!"  
'Great. Now I am probably her next victim.'  
"C'mere, Wufei-sama,"Sarah cooed. "C'mon! That's a good boy...."  
Wufei inched towards the fanfic author and her friends slowly. That's when his conscience jumped in.  
'I'd stop and run if I were you.'  
'Duh! You are me, weakling conscience!'  
'Hey, I wouldn't be calling me weak if I were you, which I am you.'  
'Gomen. Anyways, I can't run from that author! She loves me to death!'  
'She loves us? Well aren't we popular!'  
'Hn. Save the sarcasm, baka.'  
'Well, I'd say or do something, if I were you. And I am you, dang it!'  
'For once, you- or we- are right.'  
'Well, just remember, Duo didn't get bothered by his conscience. You are lucky to have one. Only smart people have one.'  
'That is supposed to be a compliment, isn't it?'  
'Yeah, I guess.... Good luck! You'll need it.'  
'Thanks for the reassurance....'  
'Hn. And you are telling me not to be sarcastic!'  
'GOOD-BYE!'  
'Okay, okay!'  
Wufei sighed and walked up to the table. "I am not doing the experiment."  
"Oh yes you are, Wu-Wu!"Sarah said dangerously. "We will mane you...."  
Everyone except Wufei, Sarah, Erin, and Natalie disappeared.  
"Chickens.... So, Wufei, WAZZAP?!"Erin asked.  
".... .... baka onna."  
Heero, Duo, Quatre, and Trowa then appeared.  
"Duwo!"Natalie shrieked, going chibi. Chibi Natalie glomped Duo. "DUWO!"  
Wufei then realized that there was no excape when four walls poped up with no way out.  
".... Kuso...."  
Taking the chance, Erin poured the sugar down his throat. All beep broke loose again....  
"MWAHAHAHA! FEEL THE WRATH OF NATAKU, MAXWELL!"Wufei started to chase Duo all around the room.  
"Go Wufei! It's ya birthday!"Natalie cheered Wufei on.  
"Okay, I had enough!"Duo took his scythe out of Heero's spandex space and slashed at Wufei. Wufei took his katana out of hammer space and blocked. The two fought with their weapons until....  
"Injustwice! How dare oo, Maxwell! Hey, why doo I sound like a chwibi?! I am a chwibi! MAAAAAAAXWEEEEEEEEEELL!"  
"Sarah! You didn't!"Erin gasped.  
"I did,"horns appeared on Sarah's head as she was saying this.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED....  
  
There is only going to be two pars in this. And that was part one. MWAHAHA! 


	2. 

THE MAJOR EFFECTS AND CURES OF SUGAR  
DISCLAIMER: I WON'T SAY.... YOU CAN'T MAKE ME! *GETS DRAGGED AWAY BY PEOPLE WHO WORK AT A MENTAL HOSPITAL* IIIIINJUUUUUSTIIIIIIICE!  
  
  
CONTINUOUS OF THIRD MAJOR EFFECT AND CURE  
  
Wufei grinned like Duo does when he's on a sugar rush and started singing,"Merry Sugarmas to you all, now you're all gonna DIE! MWAHAHAHA!"  
Sarah murmured,"The night Wufei went crazy, the night Wufei went insane."  
Wufei took a flamethrower and barbequed Noin. He then took a bite and said,"Mmmm! This tastes like chicken!"  
"CHIBIKSS *lightning cracks*, WHERE-EVER YOU ARE, DON'T MAKE THIS A PARODY OF THE NIGHT SANTA WENT CRAZY!"Duo screamed.  
"Um.... Duo.... I am Chibi Kewl Shooting Star *lightning cracks*,"Sarah said, sweatdropping.  
"You are? Why didn't you say so?"Everyone even Wufei face-faulted. Duo smiled cutely and said,"Gomen, ChibiKSS-chan."  
Wufei took a knife and chopped up Dorothy into Dorothy-saugage.  
"ChibiKSS! PLEASE!"Trowa screamed. He was fanning a fainted Quatre.  
"QUATRE!"Sarah shrieked. All of the corpses disappeared and Wufei returned to his normal self.  
  
Professor B: Another cure; if the author is doing this to you, make someone the author really likes faint or something. Then get the hell out of there!  
  
THE FOURTH MAJOR EFFECT AND CURE  
  
Sarah sat at the table with Cindy and Cindy alone.  
".... Glad you could make it! I decided to do Quatre and Trowa together."  
"YOU GONNA DO WHA?! NANI?!"  
"You mean, I did what?"  
"YOU ALREADY DID IT WITHOUT CONSULTING ME?!"  
"Yeah. So?"  
"Oh lord.... save me...."  
Sugar-crazed Quatre and Trowa stared at the two with evil little smirks on their faces.  
".... What do you think they are going to do?"  
".... I don't know.... JUST RUN LIKE SHINIGAMI IS AFTER YOU!"  
The two ran from Quatre and Trowa who chased gleefully.  
"SUGOI!"Quatre shreiked. He had the Zero system look in his eye.  
Cindy glanced at Sarah,"You know what to do. You just don't wanna do it."  
Sarah groaned. "OKAY, OKAY!"  
She took a kitten from hammerspace, stopped, and gave it to Quatre.  
"Nani? For me?"  
"Yup."  
"Aaaaaaw!"Quatre started cuddling the cute kitten.  
In seeing Quatre was happy, Trowa stopped and smiled at him and the kitten.  
  
Professor B: The cure is.... need I tell you? *gets hit by a book* ITAI! BAKA FANFIC AUTHOR!  
  
THE END  
  
I know. It was short. But I was sick of writing this! I have better things to do than write this stupid baka fanfic! I can't believe you guys who reviewed liked it! ¬__¬;; You guys get satisfied easily, dontcha? 


End file.
